How to handle difficult buyers

Demanding, arrogant, irrational, rude, manipulative, obnoxious, explosive people are about 3 percent of the population according to Dr. Albert J. Bernstein, a clinical psychologist and author.

This article is based on a real meeting I had with a buyer. The buyer walked in with a defensive body language, trying to dominate the meeting from the get go. No introductions, no background, and he declined my offer to introduce the company. Instead he asked me to pitch to him in 30 secs. Before I could finish, I was interrupted and was told my pitch was too complex. The buyer then proceeded to start a rapid fire round of questions, show me the science, what is the statistical validity, how is it done, and another 20 odd questions in a span of 5 minutes. Neither did he have the patience to listen to the answers, nor did he want to know what is it that I was offering as a product. If only he had the patience to listen to my planned introduction, about 5 minutes long, all of these would have been answered. Instead, I spent the better part of 30 minutes in a boxing match, where I kept ducking the blows that were intended to knock me out.

Why do they behave that way ?

To answer the above question, we need to first understand one of the domains of human personality, Negative Emotionality [part of the BIG5 model] which has an aspect called Volatility. Individuals with high volatility are unpredictable.

How do we handle such situations?

The keyword is unpredictability. Individuals who behave in a volatile, outrageous and unpredictable way push all our buttons. Our default response is pull in the opposite direction (freeze, fear, or flight). We must mediate that default response so we can handle the unpredictability gracefully. I offer two process recommendations and three behavioural tips to handle this. I used this in my meeting and eventually, I was able to get to a point where the rapid fire stopped, and the buyer started to get curious.

The Process

1. A high-performance salesperson does personality research before they meet a buyer. I use my own tool Ask Willy that uses DISC personality model to understand personality and behaviour. You can also use BIG5 analysis of their LinkedIn profile, articles, and their emails, to create a ‘mock’ personality prior to my meetings. In the case above, prior to the meeting, my assessment pegged the individual to be dominant with high need to be in control, and little tolerance for dissent. I took Ask Willy’s advice to cede control when meeting the buyer, let the person drive till they ran out of questions, at which point I would reassert and take control.

2. Role play with yourself ‘what-if scenarios’ of possible questions you may get. You should not rely on the traditional sales playbook and objection handling questions. Remember, they will be unpredictable. I asked myself what if he told me straight up, I don’t trust you or your product, or something even severe, and just walked out. I’ve had instances of both in my sales career.

Visualizing and rehearsing these scenarios allow you to train and be prepared with responses to the situation should it arise.

Behavioural Coaching Tips

1. Don’t react — Do not try and answer every question. Allow the individual to keep talking till they either tire out or give you a chance to reply. When they do, look them straight in the eye without blinking and ask them if they have any additional questions. Only when they do, start framing your reply.

2. Take pauses — When you are peppered with questions like I was, our brain triggers a fear or fight response which shuts down our non-vital functions including cognitive processing. It takes about 250 milliseconds to process a word, that when coupled with a barrage of words coming at us results in two outcomes. (1) A we being to lose track of what is being said, and (2) we respond with inadequate or inaccurate information to avoid more questions (to alleviate the pain) which only leads to more questions. The cycle will repeat and make the situation worse. In such cases, I find that a physical action such as taking writing down the question forces our brain to slow down and become deliberate. It gives us pause to put our cognitive processing back on track.

3. Don’t try to fix the individual — Accept that they are who they are. Their need for superiority is structural to their personality, and can from low self-esteem, an pathological thirst for praise, to a complete lack of empathy. Trying to change the individual in a meeting is impossible. Instead stick to what you came to do, the introduction of your product or service.

These meetings can be immensely harmful for novice or inexperience sales professionals as it is a form of emotional trauma that can hamper the sales persons future performance by making them fearful of all meetings.

As a manager, it your job to ensure your team is prepared for a range of scenarios. Talk to them, get feedback, and ensure they are equipped.

I’d love to hear your experiences and your tips and tricks to handle difficult buyers.